Suspense

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The "thing" caught my eye through the kitchen window. It was suspended in mid air across one of the sides of the bird table in the back garden. And there was either the remains of a spiders web, or something more ominous, involved.

I wondered what it was. Might it have been the remains of an almost eaten snail? I had recently seen a pigeon eyeing a snail which had managed to climb up onto the bird table. The pigeon looked like it couldn't quite make up its mind whether the snail was a rival for the remainder of the food on the table or whether it might itself prove a tasty morsel.

But how would the remains of the snail have become emeshed in a spider's web. Did the bird throw it in the direction of the web in the spirit of the current soccer world cup? And did only the odd thread of the web remain attached to its original base.

Or was it just one of those pieces of bird shite on its way down from on high which just happened to hit the web?

Clearly a forensic analysis of the material is required to even begin to answer this perplexing question.

The detail below is intended as an initial contribution to such an analysis.

Over to you.

Austerity Bites

This is the birdtable I see when I look out the kitchen window. The wife got it way back to give the birds a place to dine safe from marauding cats and other wildlife. When I see all the birdseed gone, it reminds me to go and put out some more. Pigeons, robins, tits and the like all vie with each other for space there. And even the pigeons, the biggest of the birds to come to dinner, often end up fighting among themselves and pushing one another out into the air.

So I'm inclined to keep an eye on it, both for entertainment and to attend to my duties as Maître d'.

When I looked out this morning I saw what looked like a lump of poo (above) that would do a large rabbit credit. What, in God's name, I wondered, had been in and left its calling card? So out I went to investigate.



It turned out, however, that the intruder was still there and doing his best to consume the avian vittles. Clearly austerity was biting so hard that it was even affecting the slugs on the ground. This guy had climbed all the way up the Empire State building for a bite of breakfast.

First time I'd ever seen the like.

Not a very merry bellwether, methinks.