Friday, December 06, 2019

DEAR JON


STATEMENT FROM THE STATES OF JERSEY POLICE
REGARDING THIS MORNING'S RAID

The document reproduced below is a manuscript found among Jon's papers when States of Jersey Police (SOJP) finally raided his house. It is being published in the public interest. The whereabouts of Jon and Stella are not known at this time. If you spot them please do not approach them but get in touch with SOJP on our confidential line.

Among Jon's papers there is also what appears to be an employment contract with a Chief of Police. Readers will remember that Graham Power's contract went missing at a critical point in Graham's career. The content of this, and other official documents found among Jon's papers, cannot be revealed for what is called in Jersey's antiquated French legal system "Raison d'État".

An SOJP diving team has been dispatched to Devil's Hole.

ENDS



ODE TO STELLA

Oh Stella you are my desire
I love you day and night
With such a strong intensity
I know it can't be right

You thrill me to my very core
Till you and I are drained
I wake up in the morning
With every muscle strained

And then I see your lovely shape
And I want more and more
But you are drained and empty
So I must go to the store.

You are there in abundance
Upon the highest shelf
All quiet and seductive
Awaiting my good self

I always come and get you
At the break of every day
And you come home to pleasure me
In your own special way

By noon I've lost my senses
And I'm raring fit to go
And troll and troll the bloggers
And others that I know.

I'll start with Voice for Children
Because he knows my style
And then go on to Póló
Who's far from this fair Isle

There's Bankrupt Baldy Pitman
Who's come back from the dead
He's blogging from the UK
And doing in my head

But they will try to stop me
From saying my own piece
So I will just report them
To the States of Jersey Police

I've got friends in high places
Who always take my side
Though sometimes they're not happy
To go for the full ride

Then I'll pick up the telephone
And make the fatal call
To tell those vermin bloggers
That I'll murder one and all.

I've taken care of Syvret
Through our own Bergerac
Whose daughter Emma helped me
To put him on the rack

We knocked him off the web, we did
With trumped up bits of paper
And with The Nurse called up the curse
My Lordy, what a caper

So now with Stella at my side
I'll troll and troll and troll
Until it's time for us to plunge
Right down The Devil's Hole



You can catch up on the vile nature of Jon's comments in an earlier post of mine.

17 comments:

  1. James (not me) Lewis6 December 2019 at 08:36

    I'm concerned your landlord might need a nurse. Could you let me have his phone number so I can ask him?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm a convicted criminal who has made a number of menacing phone calls. If I promise not to use it will you give me the phone number of your wife's place of employment?

    ReplyDelete
  3. @James

    I think Nurse should be capitalised as it clearly refers to him.

    @Gordon

    Having seen your tax return, I don't think that would be a good idea.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Julie (it's really not me) Hanning6 December 2019 at 11:21

    I know not of this Jon character does he have an online presence? Does he partake in the leaving of comments on weblogs? Do you have any examples of his comments if he does partake?

    Just in passing- in case you were wondering - it really isn't me who got a super injunction put on to Stuart Syvret for telling the truth about me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Julie

    It's never too late for confession. Preferably before you take the plunge.

    My regards to Stella.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A fine ditty Polo which seems to have attracted a bit of attention from a number of contributors. Do you think it might have been Julie @ 6 December 2019 at 11:21 who got the super-injunction put on Stuart? It's just that nobody had mentioned it and she felt the need to say it wasn't her!

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Voice at 18:11

    That's not a mere ditty. It is a fully fledged poem, full of allusions and insinuations, just like Shakespeare's sonnets, and worthy of inclusion in any future Jersey-related anthology.

    As to your second point, I don't think this is an appropriate forum to discuss transgender matters.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gordon Sharrock Adams9 December 2019 at 11:56

    It was Julie Hanning who put the super injunction on Stuart Syvret. It definitely wasn't us............I mean me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hilary of St Mary9 December 2019 at 12:28

    I don't care about any of this because Jon isn't us. And we don't even know me either. This is old news and no one with any brains even reads this blog let alone comments on it. We are all getting on with our busy normal lives stalking people.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gordon & Julie, how sweet.

    Will ye be getting married or just carrying on living in sin?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hilary

    If you're setting up in competition with Jon I'd be careful.

    You might need some nursing afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Johnny from Le Quennevais9 December 2019 at 15:27

    Did somebody say they need a nurse? I can make a phone call if you need me to?

    ReplyDelete
  13. A previous comment says this: -

    "Gordon Sharrock Adams said...
    It was Julie Hanning who put the super injunction on Stuart Syvret. It definitely wasn't us............I mean me.

    9 December 2019 at 11:56"

    I'm afraid I can't comment. For "legal" reasons.

    Notre Duc!

    Stuart Syvret
    Investigative journalist, historian, international anti-mafia activist.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Stuart

    I'm sure we all get the message.

    After all, we know why Lenny Harper did not return to the island for the Inquiry. He has been quite open about it.

    Only the Troll is protected.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oops. I forgot. The Troll is just a plain ordinary Jersey fella who is being hounded by the likes of me.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It is being observed by many international aficionados of The-Jersey-Situation, that the fate of Jersey’s only “newspaper” - the Jersey Evening Post - is in a state of crises.

    As well it should be.

    But don't be distracted by thinking of the "JEP" when considering these issues. It's far more important and evidentially accurate to think of its parent company, The Guiton Group. It is that organisation which is, and always has been, the controlling bushiness.

    And responsible for the JEP’s conduct.

    That's The Guiton Group - Chief Executive, and former Senator, and former Deputy Chairman of Jersey's Financial Services Commission, John Averty.

    John Averty must be a well-thought-of individual, and a pillar of society, given that his wife was recently elected by Jersey's "electoral college" of politicians and lawyers to be one of the 12 permanent 'jurists' of Jersey's Royal Court.

    Thank God that such a spirit of public service exists amongst Jersey's powerful media elites.

    I mean, it would be just terrible if the media in Jersey suffered from the kind of contaminations, kompromat, sexism and the high-level cover-up of abuse by the powerfully connected, like NBC News. That’s NBCNews as so brilliantly written about by USA journalist Ronan Farrow in his book Catch And Kill, the issues he exposed being at heart of the foundation of the #MeToo movement.

    I strongly recommend to regulars here that they get and read Catch And Kill, by Ronan Farrow. It's a gripping read.

    Thank God nothing like the Harvey Weinstein cover-ups could happen on Jersey.

    Notre Duc!

    Stuart Syvret
    Investigative journalist, historian, international anti-mafia activist.

    ReplyDelete

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