READ A BOOK & PULL A BIRD

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The internet is surely a funny place. The seriously literary tweet above turns up in my Twitter timeline, retweeted by friend, historian and scholar, Felix Larkin.

I was curious on two fronts. What was the French interest in our National Library and I was also intrigued by the very clever moniker which implied a lively interest in literature. Just how lively I was about to find out.

So I clicked on their addy and up came their Twitter profile. Deinitely a serious literary crowd I thought.

So I went one step further and clicked on their website and hey presto.

An amorous nude couple in Michaelangelo marble and the provocative statement to the effect that book readers pull more birds.

Johnny in the news

But enough of that for the moment.

What really caught my eye was a picture of Johnny Halliday in an adjacent news item.

Now, my reaction was probably typical of someone of my advanced age: "Jaysus, is he still alive?".

Well he is and he is in deep shit.

Johnny's recent autobiography

When I was an au pair boy in France in 1963, Johnny was all the rage - the French Elvis.

Along with the equally popular French singer, Sylvie Vartan, he dominated issues of the then new pop magazine "Salut les Copains". He and Sylvie were an item by then. They toured together and married in 1965. The marriage lasted till 1980 and Johnny has gone through a few more wives since then. But in 1963 it was all fresh and innocent.

I learned French words like Cacolac and Velosolex along with some slightly stronger ones from my French protegés. But that's a whole nudder story.

Johnny has now published his autobiography, "Dans Mes Yeux", in which he has some not very nice things to say about his third, last but one, wife Adeline Bandieau.

Johnny & Adeline in happier times

He described her as "vile", "hysterical" and "fickle" and went on to accuse her of having been unfaithful and having it off with those little punks in Saint Tropez and then acting like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

She took him to court for defamation and lost. Apparently, according to the court, this sort of stuff is now run of the mill and so does not seriously affect anyone's reputation. To add insult to injury the publisher awarded her €2.

Her brother, who is a lawyer, then took the case to the appeal court which found for her and Johnny now owes her €2,500.

In the course of all these legal shenanigans she accused Johnny of sexually molesting her when she was 15 and, because this was said in court during a trial, it is privileged and he has no come back.

All a long way from those innocent days in 1963.

But to get back to this serious literature thing. Apparently surveys have shown that people who read books have a better chance of hitting it off and going the whole hog (so to speak).

One of the articles in Actualitté goes even further and suggests (above) that it is unwise to embark on a sexual relationship with a person who does not read books.

At the other end of the literary spectrum, it suggests that should one be lucky enough to pick up a date with a librarian the earth could well move.

Source: Actualitté ; Stock

[Pseudo-legal disclaimer: whatever about librarians in the commercial or academic sector, the total disarray of the material in the illustration above (as used by Actualitté itself) could not be further from the magnificent job being done by our own National Library which I have praised elsewhere.]

Tweetdeck 101

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I have some friends who have just joined Twitter. They are not bloggers and they do not have websites. Most, if not all of their contact with the internet consistes of email and browsing. So I thought, having gone to the trouble of defending Twitter in the past from the troglodyte hoards, I would do a short piece on how to use Tweetdeck to optimise the pleasure of using Twitter. I suggest that, before going any further, you read that earlier piece to get a broader perspective on what you may be at.

You first need to download Tweetdeck and then give it permission to access your Twitter account.

You will then be able to manage your Twitter account from a single multicolumn console (above).

The default columns (you can open others) are first of all your timeline. Here you will see your own tweets and those of people you choose to follow. In the next column you will see those tweets which are either addressed to you specifically or in which you are mentioned (ie tweets in which your twitter id - @me - appears). In the next you will see your interactions with others. This will include some of the tweets in the previous column but also cases where people have retweeted your tweet or have made it a favourite of theirs. These are your principal columns.

Then you can create (and delete) additional columns. For example if there is someone you are not following but want to keep an eye on what they are up to, you can create a column specially to monitor them. I have done so (temporarily) for Eilis O'Hanlon of the Sunday Independent while I was having a barney with her. It enabled me to see what she was saying to others (including about me). And, as you will see from the image above, I am keeping an eye on Fr. Tony Flannery at the moment.

So let's start with the controls down the left hand side.

The blue square on the left will open a box in which you can compose your tweet (more below).

The wee magnifying glass will open a search box.

The remainder, above the separator, will simply align your display on any particular column. These are only relevant when you have a clatter of columns stretching way off screen to the right. Hovering the cursor over a box will show a tooltip identifying the column in question.

The plus sign, below the separator, opens a box which allows you to (i) temporarily view various aspects of other people's activities, and (ii) open a more permanent additional column on this if you wish. This column (like any other) can be deleted at will. (see below)

There is a small triangle at the top right hand side of the column titles. Clicking on this will give you the box above. The first three rows allow you to control a search function within the column. These are quite sophisticated and can give you a lot of control of your search. However the search only applies to what is in the column and if you take my advice below on clearing columns when you shut down Tweetdeck, that may not be much. There is an easier way of doing a more fundamental search which I will outline below.

The fourth row allows you to choose whether or not to preview any images which may accompany tweets and to determine the size of the preview. This setting applies to all tweets in that particular column.

The bottom row is what you will be mainly concerned with at this stage. On the right, the red bin allows you to delete the column (permanently, unless you choose to recreate it later). The middle bit does what it says on the tin. It clears the column of tweets. I do this each time I am about to shut down Tweetdeck. This means that when I come back I have only new tweets in the column. If you are shutting down in a hurry and haven't time to read existing tweets or follow their links, you can just leave them there till the next time. The arrows allow you to shift the whole column to the left or right.

The search function (magnifying glass in the earlier image above) can be quite sophisticated, and you are better getting used to that than relying on individual column searches. Before you use it for any complicated stuff you should go to this page and click on the link labelled "operators". You can search for tweets from individuals, to individuals, containing or not containing particular words/phrases etc. There are hours, if not days, of potential sleuthing fun in this.

At the bottom of each tweet you will see either the word Details or view, and if you hover the cursor over the row you will also get the other symbols shown above.

Details will expand the tweet and show you if it has been retweeted and whatever replies it has evoked. View will show you the tweet to which it is replying, and if you continue clicking view on each additional tweet as it appears you can follow the whole conversation backwards to the original tweet which gave rise to it. This is very useful as it gives you great control without cluttering up your console.

As far as the symbols are concerned: the backarrow opens a box to reply to the tweet. If you use this, your tweet will be included in the conversation chain referred to above. The double arrow lets you retweet the tweet, and you are offered a choice of a straight retweet or one which you can modify or add to (remember the 140 char limit). The dots (ellipsis) open another box giving you the series of options below:

These do what it says on the tin. The main one to keep an eye on here is the block function. You will probably find tweets from suspicious unknown characters turning up in your timeline. Be careful not to click on any links in these tweets; they can take you to malicious sites which could either enhance your porn experience (at a price) or simply feck up your computer or take it over. Blocking these tweets not only protects you and means that particular person will not show up on your screen again, but it can be an exhilarating experience in itself.

So, now that you have got the hang of what other people are doing, you'll probably want to tweet yourself.

Click on the blue box and you get the above. It is fairly self-explanatory. You can tweet up to 140 characters (including spaces etc.). The counter will let you know how many you have left and if you go over the limit it will not tweet. As some urls are quite long, it sets a limit on how many characters even the longest url can use up. You will probably find this consideration very useful.

You can add an image from your computer to your tweet. It is good practice to limit both the dimensions and filesize of images, if you are in a position to do so. There may be further restrictions introduced on adding images as I notice that some people are using them to circumvent the 140 char limit and Twitter will, no doubt, eventually catch on to this.

You can schedule a tweet for future release. This can be useful if you are tweeting reminders or anniversaries or the like, so you can have them prepared in advance.

And you can send a direct message to one of your followers, and only them, which will not be seen by anyone else.

So, hopefully there is enough in the above to give you the confidence and knowledge to enjoy your new Twitter/Tweetdeck experience.

If you spot any gaps, please leave a comment below and I'll try to fill them.

Happy Tweeting.

In defence of Twitter

When you mention Twitter to non-Tweeters you can see the eyes glaze over on the spot.

The word registers as a kids' thing, or a piece of teenage social media frippery. It may yet even become the ultimate scapegoat for all the ills of the present young generation.

So why are a lot of ordinary sane sober balanced people using it. Why are advocacy groups, political groups, media groups, and, even the most advanced techie groups on the planet using it.

The answer is simple. It is a tool. Just as a computer, phone, hammer, saw and screwdriver are tools.

You don't see people calling for the banning or ignoring of hammers just because some lunatic put one through the skull of his/her partner?

Of course you can use a hammer for all sorts of things. You can use it to nail up doorways to either imprison people or to keep them from entering dangerous buildings. You can use it to drive nails into walls to hang works of art to be admired, or manacles to suspend a torture victim.

So with Twitter. It's a tool, for good or evil. And, as far as I can see, it is mostly for good.

Choose your Company
The first thing to remember is that you don't have to put up with idiots, blatherers or the outpourings of pubescent teenagers. When you start out you are nobody. You get a handle (like @me) and that's just you and your account. You can then pick who you follow by specifying others (@other_people) and everything they tweet will come up on your homepage/column. You are then part of the community to which they broadcast. That's you listening to them.

So how do you get them to listen to you? Well they will have to opt to follow you, and then all your tweets will appear in their homepages. This sort of mutual following works best initially with communities which are already in existence eg real life acquaintances who are online, or people you are in touch with by email. Then, depending on how you use Twitter you will probably pick up more followers as you go on.

Avoid the Body Count
There is one thing to beware of, though. Some Tweeters are not interested in content, only in numbers, eg how many Tweets they've done, how many people they follow and, probably most importantly, how many people follow them. These are the bounty hunters. They don't care about the quality of their followers (eg do the followers read any of their tweets?) or of those they follow (some follow thousands of people). They are only interested in how many people follow them. Now, that might seem a bit strange, but to these people, the number of people following them (irrespective of whether these followers have any interest in them or not), these are like notches on a gun or trophies on the wall. Such macho idiots are to be avoided.

You can't stop other people following them, but make sure you don't end up following them yourself. They will often turn up, out of the blue, following you and expect you to follow them back.

If someone follows me, I check them out, and if I come to the conclusion that they have no interest in my Tweets, and that I am just another potential stuffed trophy on their wall, I make sure not to follow them back so I don't inflate their follower numbers. Then I BLOCK them. That means they can't follow me, they don't get my Tweets and they don't dilute the quality of my exclusive followers list. It's a bit like "Repel Boarders" and every bit as exciting.


Rebroadcasting other people's Tweets
If you haven't yet got round to composing your own Tweets, you can always rebroadcast the Tweets of those you follow to those who follow you. That may sound a bit odd, but a recent example shows how it can even be a lifesaver.

Recently, a troubled person's followers picked up from their Tweets that the person in question had lost it and was in the process of taking an overdose. Now, more often than not, you will only know the great majority of your followers online - you won't have a physical address or phone number. That was true in this case. But the person's followers started retweeting (ie rebroadcasting to their followers) an appeal for a physical address and included a link to the last plaintive Tweet of the person in trouble. Those Tweets went viral and one person responded with a name and then another came up with a reasonable guess at an address. The police were notified and arrived in time to save the troubled person's life. That person has already Tweeted their thanks to those who intervened.

Twitter can also be very useful in following the alternative media. Most publications Tweet when they publish an article and a judicious choice of who you follow can turn you into a virtual alternative media newsagency.

A Temporary Community
You can create temporary (or even long term) communities on Twitter, based around a particular event or interest. Here's how it works. Let us say you are interested in the upcoming International Eucharistic Congress in Dublin. You may have decided to follow the organisers on Twitter (@iec2012), but that will only bring up on your homepage those Tweets which are posted by the organisers themselves.

That's where the hashtag (#) comes in. If you include in your Tweet a hashtag for the Congress (eg #iec2012) and put in a search for that expression, then you will see the Tweets of everyone who does likewise. So, a temporary online community is created around the event. The hashtag terms are thought up by the tweeters themselves but it is usually easy to find which one is in use for any given purpose. In particular, you can monitor live events in this way and create Twitter communities around the likes of the Heineken Cup (#hcup) or the Vincent Browne Show on TV3 (#vinb). These communities are great fun and people vent to their hearts' content during the live events.

A much more serious and unexpected role for Twitter emerged during the Arab Spring. Participants were Tweeting events as they happened and including photos from mobile phones. In many cases Tweets were used as part of the organisation of the protests. News was emerging in this way to the outside world which, in many cases, took another whole day or more to reach the mainstream media.

Such communities can be very effective in the case of natural disasters, or other occasions where support groups can be helpful.

Limit of 140 characters

Tweets are not blogposts. They are limited to a maximum of 140 characters and that has to include everything,the text of the Tweet, the Twitter name (@) of the person you are Tweeting, any hashtags, and, of course, any links to blogposts, websites etc. Now, as we know, some links can be very long and even take up more than 140 characters for just the link. So, Twitter will shorten links to 10 characters, or thereabouts, so you are left with plenty of space for the rest of the message.

Don't be Prolix
You will find that 140 characters is, in fact, very little, and your early experience with Tweeting may be a bit frustrating. But, persist. You will get the hang of getting the most into a short message, it will hone your editing skills and test your ingenuity to its limits.

Below is a typical tweet (as it happens, of mine). It is just over 120 characters, contains a shortened link, an id (@) and hashtags (#). You will also notice the avatar (picture) which is one I have uploaded to my account and which appears as an identifier on all of my tweets.

You can get a live version by clicking here and then you can click on the link etc. to see how things work.

When you've got the hang of it you might like to check out my post on Tweetdeck and also a third party post on Tweet Chats.


Happy Tweeting